Remember playing when you thought no one was looking? How did you feel? The freedom? The boredom? Making up unique games. The risk-taking. Facing challenges. Realizing that chanting “I think I can” works and just when you thought you couldn’t, you did it!
That’s what happens when we get out of the way of our children. In fact, we get out of the way of our own selves, too. Let them live and enjoy childhood. Let us enjoy, too! Life. Life is for living not dying. Living the adventures of it all and perhaps, that will carry us all forward into their grown up years and our grown up years continued.
Before you buy a bunch of stuff for people for holidays or birthdays…ask them what kind of gift do they want or need? What do you want to give?
Do they need the gift of quality time? Do they need the gift of service? Do they need some affirmation? Do they need to dance? Do they need a meaningful gift?
Keep it simple and ask what they need. Listen carefully.
Do they need any help?
Do they need someone to listen over a cup of cocoa coffee tea?
Maybe they need a kid free night.
If it’s for a child…could it be something they really want to do?
Maybe they could use a home cooked meal.
Maybe they don’t know what to ask for or are too embarrassed to ask.
Maybe you can be the one who gives them what they need instead buying more stuff.
Maybe make something for them.
In fact, I wrote a book about this theme of too much stuff entitled:
It encourages donating stuff you no longer need or use. It also uses personification to bring humor to having too much stuff! We cannot take all of these things when we level up aka when we die. So, again, let’s ask: “presents or presence?”
Instead of asking: “What’s wrong with him or her?” Ask, “What happened to him or her?” This will help you guide and have a better relationship with the children and grown ups in your life.
In a society that is in a rush to label, diagnose fix and break, be the exact opposite, be the one who slows down to notice, show compassion and listen. Just be there through the tears, through the ups and the downs. Notice and be present. Love.
We are society and we can in fact, choose love, consistency and conversations where we listen more and talk less. Slow down, listen to what children are showing and sharing. You will find out exactly what they need, don’t need and in return what you need and what you don’t need.
Slow down. Turtles have a lot to teach us in this way. Not the ninja turtles but the ones who hold up traffic as they cross the street. Taking their time. One turtle paw at a time. One paw in front of the other. There are times to be a cheetah and there are times to be a turtle. Choose wisely.
Let’s talk. Wealth. Rich and Poor. While we teach our children to value what is inside of themselves: the who of what they are. Their being. Their essence. Others from outside will influence them or try to belittle them or what they care about at times, without even knowing it themselves. It tugs at their heart and their soul. Ours, too, just a little bit until we get the jolt back into what matters most. People. Relationships. Experiences. Memories. Time. Talent. Treasure.
Our son asked, “Hey mom, is my jacket expensive?” Quite frankly, it doesn’t even matter. These things, no matter the cost won’t matter in the next five minutes or even in the next five years. If it won’t matter in the next minutes, months or even years: who cares. It’s not the jacket but the memories we make in it that truly matter. While most of society will try to convince you that your worth is determined by what you have on, in real real reality, it doesn’t. What your life depends on is who you are, who you surround yourself with and what you care about. So, take care of yourself, others and your surroundings/your space then it ripples outward and onward changing lives for the better.
So, how much does your life cost? How much value and worth? Are you living poor in mindset? Have the courage to change it before it’s far too late. Don’t live for a too die for house. Don’t live for a too die for car.
Live for a too die for life.
Collect memories. Not things. Collect the times. Spend time well. Treasure it. We all have time, talent and treasure. It is how you define it. No one else. Love life. Live it well. Make it a life well spent. Spend life well. The currency is always strong when passionately and poetically lived.
“One can only travel the long way into the heart of another: the slow work of finding common ground, the careful discernment of grounds of admiration, the disciplines of kindness, encouragement, silence, and restraint. It takes a deliberate choice, renewed regularly, to love every human being one encounters.” (Zena Hitz)
If it’s worth it, it will not be easy… something like that Bob Marley said. A monk was also quoted previously in response to this question:
“What’s the hardest part about being a monk?” He said, “Other monks”.
What’s the hardest part about life and love?
Other people.
Isn’t that funny? Other people. We do not have control. We have control only over oneself. Only of ourselves and how we respond or how we do not respond to others.
They say the highest form of flattery is gossip. If you find yourself trembling off the lips of another it’s truly none of your business. Monks do not talk much as it’s well known. There is a reason for that. Self-discipline and restraint. Choose not to judge and just respect the journey we are all walking.
Loving, guiding, whispering, petals of a flower as delicate as the work of our hands whether they are rough or smooth. Show your hands and it will show me your work.
Follow the palmar flexion creases on your hands. Your hands are your life’s and love’s work.
What you choose to do with your hands is your life’s work.
If you wreak havoc and chaos. If you choose to hit and harm, it is never, ever forgotten and permanently stored somehow, someway into the deep recesses of one’s mind. Memories are stored deep and remembered. Never forgotten. We all are patients of our own memories. Choose to love and be gentle even if someone sees it as a weakness. Because, in fact, it is strength. Gentleness is strength. If someone hurt you, you forgive them but move on. You do not have to forget. Lessons are in it. You learn what not to accept. You learn what not to do. You learn the lessons life dishes out and deals. You remember, forgive and you move on. Let it move you to dance. To sing. To read. To draw. To write. To paint. To act. To create.Scream love.
…remember while it’s a long way into someone else heart, it’s also a long way into your own heart. It is a deliberate choice to love yourself just the way you are.
In the words of someone I love. ” Love you to the end of thealphabet... [and beyond it] “. Here are the abcs filled with love, light and affirmations. Cheers to speaking life and love over each other and our children.
A for amazing and astounding.
B for brave, bold and beautiful.
C for courageous, considerate, compassionate and caring.
D for determined and dedicated.
E for evolving and energetic.
F for fabulous and fun!
G for giving and getting.
H for healing and health.
I for intelligent, inspiring and insightful.
J for joyful and jazzy.
K for knightly and kind.
L for loving and learning.
M for masterpiece and magnificent.
N for neat, nice, natural and neverending!
O for observant and ongoing.
P for precious, persevering and playful.
Q for quissential, quaint and quirky!
R for resilient, respectful and ready for life!
S for special and sweet.
T for talented, timeless, thoughtful, tactful and tenacious.
U for ubiquitous, unique, unconditional, unbeatable, ultimate and unabashed!
V for valorous, valuable, venerable, vast, versatile and valiant.
Need ideas for the holiday season? When I am fresh out of ideas, I tend to start with the people and places we love. Whether near or far, inspiration can be found everywhere and lead to anywhere.
We were counting all of the letters of the alphabet. I hear, “Mom, I love you, all the letters of the alphabet.”
Love is everywhere. In little moments and in the meaningful conversations whether we know in the moment they are meaningful or not. Even “small talk” could lead to “big talk”. In fact, it is all big in the grand scheme of this one precious and wild life.
The timeless adage still rings true. Don’t spend money. Spend time. Time with those you love. What is at the core of each and every single one of us is this: Time, Talent and Treasure.
Ask those you love what they would love to do with the time you all have? Dare yourself to be pulled into the moment.
They and it will all surprise you. When we ask…, we get at that heart of what the other person cares about.
Some ideas, actions and answers that sprang up and out of boredom and inspired by an ask of:
Q: “What do you want to do?”
A: “I want to go to the car wash!”
A: “Let’s count the stars.”
A: “Write a book.”
A: “Watch tv”
A: “Can we add soap to the trampoline and jump?! Soap party!”
A: “Make a cat house?!”
A: “Play a game” (ie board game or action packed game of tag!)
A: “Play chase us with the remote control cars!”
A: “Ride our go karts.”
A: “I want to make a fart fort!”
A: “I want a piggy back ride!”
A: “I want to fight!”
A: “I want to climb.”
A: “I want to roll!”
A: “I want to swing!”
A: “Knock, knock…(I want to laugh!)”
…the answers are endless. Let it be. Let them play. Let yourself play. Shhhh, listen, let them tell you. Open your eyes, let them show you. Open your arms. Hug it out. xoxoxo
It all starts at the foundation. What I like to call The Floor.
Has anyone ever experienced McDonald’s floors? You need slip resistant shoes for them. But there is always the possibility to still slip and fall. Like life. Then, you get back up. Learn the lessons. Notice the patterns. Keep moving, ebbing and flowing like the ocean. Always in a process of becoming.
Those that lie with dogs rise with fleas. Yes and no.
You do become like the people you surround yourself with.
I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by the go getters, the people who get stuff done for their business, families, friends and for their soul.
They inspire me each and every day. I am humbled by the magnitude of their strength and their soul. We are a soul family. For real.
They didn’t choose to listen to dogma, complain or even echo the cliche: “whoa is me“, or even list their sacrifices and grievances, instead they did something about it. The trials and tribulations they took as learning lessons and stepping stones leading up to their greatness way of a whole being. in the making.
I bear witness. A dear friend turns and flips homes into Schools of Love helping to put the generational fire of addiction to ash for good. It starts with our youth. It starts with love.
Or another dear friend and soul sister who dared to open up her own school and name it after her grandmother, someone who had impacted and imprinted her childhood in a profound and endearing way. Legacy living on and on.
Another one, who from the moment I stepped foot into a classroom made me fall in love with Early Childhood Education. She had me notice the little things. It all started at a hug. A hug and a hello. She sees the humanity and the importance of relationships. That’s what it all comes down to. Love. Love. Love. Light, coupled by care and then, like alchemic magic, the rest handles itself.
Sometimes people don’t see their own value and their own worth. Another dear one, made me see my worth and negotiate to get what I deserve and continues to negotiate on the behalf of others.
Our students and children also have dreams and struggle with worth, self-efficacy and self-fulfilling prophecies. Sometimes they need a gentle or even loud reminder. A soft push to see the power in themselves. We are always in a process of becoming. Our process never ever ends even in the so-called death and dying part of it.
Another dear human who founded and runs an organization chose to empower her community and generations to follow. Breaking and dismantling poverty during and after war.
Then I met another remarkable person who on a soul level I knew she was changing lives. Discovery Center. Check it out.
I have bore witness to great ones who don’t step on the giants or on the shoes of others but walks like one in their own soles for their soul. No one likes to be stepped on. Ask ants. It messes up their whole flow.
They walk like giants.
They deeply inspired me to dig a little deeper and dance my own dance.
For real life, we’re all here walking and dancing each other home. Thank you for taking my hand everyone and dancing, singing, our ways home all while screaming love.
That’s the thing we have to keep shouting. Love. In the words of a dear one: L O V E. Wins. Every. Single. Time.
From the Playground 