No Such thing as a Bad Kid…Remember that!

Instead of asking: “What’s wrong with him or her?” Ask, “What happened to him or her?” This will help you guide and have a better relationship with the children and grown ups in your life.

In a society that is in a rush to label, diagnose fix and break, be the exact opposite, be the one who slows down to notice, show compassion and listen. Just be there through the tears, through the ups and the downs. Notice and be present. Love.

We are society and we can in fact, choose love, consistency and conversations where we listen more and talk less. Slow down, listen to what children are showing and sharing. You will find out exactly what they need, don’t need and in return what you need and what you don’t need.

Slow down. Turtles have a lot to teach us in this way. Not the ninja turtles but the ones who hold up traffic as they cross the street. Taking their time. One turtle paw at a time. One paw in front of the other. There are times to be a cheetah and there are times to be a turtle. Choose wisely.

The Power of Love and Healing (Deep Work=Deep Breaths)

“One can only travel the long way into the heart of another: the slow work of finding common ground, the careful discernment of grounds of admiration, the disciplines of kindness, encouragement, silence, and restraint. It takes a deliberate choice, renewed regularly, to love every human being one encounters.” (Zena Hitz)

If it’s worth it, it will not be easy… something like that Bob Marley said. A monk was also quoted previously in response to this question:

“What’s the hardest part about being a monk?” He said, “Other monks”.

What’s the hardest part about life and love?

Other people.

Isn’t that funny? Other people. We do not have control. We have control only over oneself. Only of ourselves and how we respond or how we do not respond to others.

They say the highest form of flattery is gossip. If you find yourself trembling off the lips of another it’s truly none of your business. Monks do not talk much as it’s well known. There is a reason for that. Self-discipline and restraint. Choose not to judge and just respect the journey we are all walking.

Loving, guiding, whispering, petals of a flower as delicate as the work of our hands whether they are rough or smooth. Show your hands and it will show me your work.

Follow the palmar flexion creases on your hands. Your hands are your life’s and love’s work.

What you choose to do with your hands is your life’s work.

If you wreak havoc and chaos. If you choose to hit and harm, it is never, ever forgotten and permanently stored somehow, someway into the deep recesses of one’s mind. Memories are stored deep and remembered. Never forgotten. We all are patients of our own memories. Choose to love and be gentle even if someone sees it as a weakness. Because, in fact, it is strength. Gentleness is strength. If someone hurt you, you forgive them but move on. You do not have to forget. Lessons are in it. You learn what not to accept. You learn what not to do. You learn the lessons life dishes out and deals. You remember, forgive and you move on. Let it move you to dance. To sing. To read. To draw. To write. To paint. To act. To create. Scream love.

The [Heart, Mind, Brain and…] Body Keeps the Score always. A must read book is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D., found here: https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score

…remember while it’s a long way into someone else heart, it’s also a long way into your own heart. It is a deliberate choice to love yourself just the way you are.

26

In the words of someone I love. ” Love you to the end of the alphabet... [and beyond it] “. Here are the abcs filled with love, light and affirmations. Cheers to speaking life and love over each other and our children.

A for amazing and astounding.

B for brave, bold and beautiful.

C for courageous, considerate, compassionate and caring.

D for determined and dedicated.

E for evolving and energetic.

F for fabulous and fun!

G for giving and getting.

H for healing and health.

I for intelligent, inspiring and insightful.

J for joyful and jazzy.

K for knightly and kind.

L for loving and learning.

M for masterpiece and magnificent.

N for neat, nice, natural and neverending!

O for observant and ongoing.

P for precious, persevering and playful.

Q for quissential, quaint and quirky!

R for resilient, respectful and ready for life!

S for special and sweet.

T for talented, timeless, thoughtful, tactful and tenacious.

U for ubiquitous, unique, unconditional, unbeatable, ultimate and unabashed!

V for valorous, valuable, venerable, vast, versatile and valiant.

W for wise and wonderful.

X for xenial and xylographic.

Y for yogi, yielding, yaring and youthful.

Z for zingy, zestful, zany and zen.

Next time, sing with me!

Ps. Love you, all 26 letters!

Deck the Halls with Lots of Love and Play

Need ideas for the holiday season? When I am fresh out of ideas, I tend to start with the people and places we love. Whether near or far, inspiration can be found everywhere and lead to anywhere.  

We were counting all of the letters of the alphabet. I hear, “Mom, I love you, all the letters of the alphabet.”

Love is everywhere. In little moments and in the meaningful conversations whether we know in the moment they are meaningful or not. Even “small talk” could lead to “big talk”. In fact, it is all big in the grand scheme of this one precious and wild life.

The timeless adage still rings true. Don’t spend money. Spend time. Time with those you love. What is at the core of each and every single one of us is this: Time, Talent and Treasure.

Ask those you love what they would love to do with the time you all have? Dare yourself to be pulled into the moment.

They and it will all surprise you. When we ask…, we get at that heart of what the other person cares about.

Some ideas, actions and answers that sprang up and out of boredom and inspired by an ask of:

Q: “What do you want to do?”

A: “I want to go to the car wash!”

A: “Let’s count the stars.”

A: “Write a book.”

A: “Watch tv”

A: “Can we add soap to the trampoline and jump?! Soap party!”

A: “Make a cat house?!”

A: “Play a game” (ie board game or action packed game of tag!)

A: “Play chase us with the remote control cars!”

A: “Ride our go karts.”

A: “I want to make a fart fort!”

A: “I want a piggy back ride!”

A: “I want to fight!”

A: “I want to climb.”

A: “I want to roll!”

A: “I want to swing!”

A: “Knock, knock…(I want to laugh!)”

…the answers are endless. Let it be. Let them play. Let yourself play. Shhhh, listen, let them tell you. Open your eyes, let them show you. Open your arms. Hug it out. xoxoxo

Photo by Krivec Ales on Pexels.com

Notes of A Grateful-Hearted Teacher and Life-Long Learner

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Pexels.com

I was feeling grateful while reading an article that reflected on whether teaching was stunting other passions by Patrick Harris. Throughout it, I felt affirmed and validated in my own decade and a half experience from being busy all of the time to finding the time for the other things I care deeply about such as writing and creating. Read more from the article that inspired this one below:

Teaching just like receiving an “F” or a zero on a paper can literally “suck the life out of you” in the words of Rita Pierson but a “plus two” or being in pursuit of your passions / what you care about can fill you back up a bit.

The dilemma all comes down to having no time to pursue the other things that you love.

The top three for me are: reading, creating and travel. 

That is what I intend to keep on doing. 

Photo by Jessica Lewis on Pexels.com

Fly a Kite and other adventures to have on Windy, Rainy Cold Days

It’s windy. It’s rainy. You have a handful of kids or what feels like a handful. What to do?

  1. Fly a Kite
  2. Collect & measure the Rain using measuring tape, legos, blocks, or even yourself! Does it go past your ankles? Does it go past your wrist? Does it go past your elbow? Does it go past your pinky? Your fingers?
  3. Make a wind chime using recyclables
  4. Jump in puddles
  5. Draw using chalk and notice how it changes into pastel
  6. Make forts with blankets, pillows anything you could think of!
  7. Water play: make magical potions
  8. Shaving cream kind of day! Add food coloring for pops of color.
  9. Paint using water color
  10. Paint on the windows using water drops: have water drop races on the windows
  11. Make rainwater paintings with puddles!
  12. Build using wood, legos, recyclables: whatever your brain thinks up!
  13. Read and act out your favorite books
  14. Karaoke: sing your favorite songs.
  15. Yoga (Kid version!)
  16. Nothing. Get bored and see where it takes you & what could be created.

99 Books of Pages on the Walls: Top Ten Children’s Fall Books to Fall into

Hello Fall. How I’ve missed you. I love the Fall (the book by Albert Camus) But especially, the season. Goodbye Summer. The leaves are falling down. Red, Yellow, Orange and Brown,…the leaves are falling down. Goodbye Summer. Hello Fall. The crisp is not only in the crunch of the leaves but also in the air. Chilly-Crisp the kind of weather love to read a book in.

Here are my top 10 books for children for this season followed by a reading challenge. Comment yours below if you’d like.

  1. I Like Pumpkins by Jerry Smath
  2. Where the Wild Things Are by Mercer Meyer
  3. Abiyoyo by Pete Seeger (all seasons really!)
  4. Happy Halloween Biscuit by Alyssa Satin Capucilli
  5. Leaf Man by Lois Ehlert
  6. Goodbye Summer, Hello Autumn by Kenard Pak
  7. The Scarecrow by Beth Ferry
  8. Too Many Pumpkins by Linda White
  9. The Leaf Thief by Alice Hemming
  10. The Giant Carrot by Jan Peck

Fall Book Challenge to Fall into. Get your Read on….

  1. A book with Fall colors red, yellow, orange and brown (on the front cover and inside).
  2. A book about a ghost, scarecrow, giant, witch or monster.
  3. A book about fall foods.
  4. A book about leaves.
  5. A book featuring fall songs (bonus: sing together!)
  6. A book about pumpkins and gourds
  7. A book showing the change of seasons
  8. A chapter book featuring any or all of the challenges 😉

****Heads up: Many of the books on the challenge are listed in the top ten. 🙂 Happy Reading! Love, light and change your way.

Why the Early Years Matter and How to Support Children from Birth through Five and Beyond

Do you remember your early childhood? How did you experience it? What three things came to mind? Did anything not come to mind?

Birth through five years are essential in building a foundation for life and that is where an early learning program comes in. An imprint is left for lifelong learning. Babies, toddlers and preschoolers are born ready to take in the love of their new people, environment, and information. When a child is born they are “making one million neural connections per second” according to Zero to Three.

These connections are made strong by daily continuous and consistent positive experiences and routines. Positive experiences correlate to positive outcomes in the long run of a marathon in a child’s life. A child will learn to trust or distrust people based on their early experiences in childhood. Most of all, grown ups support children as they gain the foundation needed for thriving in their life after childhood. 

How do we do this? How do we support children? It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3 and A, B, C as the Jackson 5 sang about. Here is an awesome resource that gives age-by-age tips, strategies and activities for children as you help them learn and grow. 

https://www.pbs.org/parents/authors/zero-to-three

It focuses on the whole child centering on emotions and self-awareness, social skills, character, literacy, math, science and the creative arts. 

So, what three things did you think about when it came to how you experienced your childhood? Our three are play, love and care for self, others and the environment. List the top three things that remind you of your childhood. Share in the comments below. 

Meet children where they are in life’s journey. Most of all, care and inspire them to care and the rest handles itself. 

5,4,3,2,1 — Blast Off! Get Going on What You’re Meant to Do and Whatever that is: “Be a Good One.”

“I know what I want to do, and it makes sense to get going”. — Warren Buffet

Children know who they are and what they love to do from an early age. Families, educators and the community also discover what children are passionate about especially by paying close attention while being astute observers. When children arrive at school they get going in on the things they care about all while living out the mantra: being in the present moment. Something most of us could learn a lot from. While being in the present an idea enters the brain also know as a spark of joy that sends signals as what we’re supposed to be doing. An idea.

Photo by SHVETS production on Pexels.com

I had a student who had an idea. He started building a truck. More specifically, a cement mixer. In fact, he loved trucks. All kinds of trucks. His family was worried as he seemed obsessed with trucks and he didn’t like books so much. I mentioned that they just may have a builder on their hands. He gets distracted by what he cares about most because when there was a book about trucks he would study it research like and consumed by it ranging from non-fiction to Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site. When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said a garbage truck so he could keep Earth clean. When we went to the library on Wednesdays for story time, instead of listening to the story he would instead gravitate towards the window to watch the construction workers work. He would be engrossed by the construction site across the street and name every single truck as well as what they were doing. I mentioned it to the storyteller and she prepared stories the following week in honor of my student and the site across the street. We also met the team who were building. My student’s eyes lit up and stood in awe as the team described what they were working on. He asked the most questions and even got to sit in the cement mixer he saw each Wednesday, the exact truck he was building. This came full circle and his family beams with pride as their son is an expert in building and mechanics. He drew and from what I see online still draws blueprints, creates and builds. 

Our ideas are unique to only us. No one else dreams the dreams we dream. It is vital to fulfill our mission. When a child is doing something they love they don’t have to be told or rewarded to do it. Even when they grow up it is the same as they do something they love. They do it because they want to be there. They do what they love and care about. That is the greatest gift. Are you honoring your child and your own inner child?

This is where intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation comes in. 

Children are intrinsically motivated to do the things they love to do. They don’t need awards or even praise. They just do. They get going. 

So what is it that your child wants to get going on? How about you?  Just do it.

The Gift of Play: Everybody Needs It

Everybody needs a little love in their lives but you know what else everybody needs? Play.

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. —Plato

While in Vang Vieng, Laos, we happened to catch children playing from a far distance. No grown ups present. They climbed through tree roots, explored water, caught fish and laughed a lot. They waded water in the stream made their way out and found a large paint roller and rolled it all around in the dirt. I smiled and reminisced as my nostalgic childhood materialized.

“That’s what play looks and feels like. That’s honoring childhood.” My partner and I started sharing about our childhoods. How we were fortunate that ours looked like the childhood the children were playing in right before our very eyes. Childhood is finite and infinite at the same time. It lives on.

No fences, no dittos, no rules. Freedom. To feel and play. True play gives us a push into being in our body and mind. Everything is connected: spatial awareness to making connections. 

Play gives children practice to what they are learning and observing. It works for grown ups too in life, family and business. Want to learn more about your colleagues in less time? Keep it simple. Kick the typical “meeting” and get out there and play. 

Play Opens Doors

No matter where children and grown ups live or what they’re overcoming, play is essential.

It opens doors and shows us what we’re capable of and what we’re passionate about. It shows us who we are and are meant to be. We all are competent, capable and creative human beings. From birth until we die, we have to play in our purpose.

Play Promotes Collaboration

Listening and talking. Everyone plays a part in it. From role play / interacting with others to make believe / symbolic thinking. Even without someone else…being able to collaborate with yourself in your own world is the art of meditation. Play is meditation.

Play Gives Grace to Fail and Try, Try Again

Riding a bike to kicking a ball. You ride, you crash. You kick, you miss. You try again.

What did you love to play as a child? As an adult? Did it change? Why?