No Such thing as a Bad Kid…Remember that!

Instead of asking: “What’s wrong with him or her?” Ask, “What happened to him or her?” This will help you guide and have a better relationship with the children and grown ups in your life.

In a society that is in a rush to label, diagnose fix and break, be the exact opposite, be the one who slows down to notice, show compassion and listen. Just be there through the tears, through the ups and the downs. Notice and be present. Love.

We are society and we can in fact, choose love, consistency and conversations where we listen more and talk less. Slow down, listen to what children are showing and sharing. You will find out exactly what they need, don’t need and in return what you need and what you don’t need.

Slow down. Turtles have a lot to teach us in this way. Not the ninja turtles but the ones who hold up traffic as they cross the street. Taking their time. One turtle paw at a time. One paw in front of the other. There are times to be a cheetah and there are times to be a turtle. Choose wisely.

Is my Jacket Expensive?

Let’s talk. Wealth. Rich and Poor. While we teach our children to value what is inside of themselves: the who of what they are. Their being. Their essence. Others from outside will influence them or try to belittle them or what they care about at times, without even knowing it themselves. It tugs at their heart and their soul. Ours, too, just a little bit until we get the jolt back into what matters most. People. Relationships. Experiences. Memories. Time. Talent. Treasure.

Our son asked, “Hey mom, is my jacket expensive?” Quite frankly, it doesn’t even matter. These things, no matter the cost won’t matter in the next five minutes or even in the next five years. If it won’t matter in the next minutes, months or even years: who cares. It’s not the jacket but the memories we make in it that truly matter. While most of society will try to convince you that your worth is determined by what you have on, in real real reality, it doesn’t. What your life depends on is who you are, who you surround yourself with and what you care about. So, take care of yourself, others and your surroundings/your space then it ripples outward and onward changing lives for the better.

So, how much does your life cost? How much value and worth? Are you living poor in mindset? Have the courage to change it before it’s far too late. Don’t live for a too die for house. Don’t live for a too die for car.

Live for a too die for life.

Collect memories. Not things. Collect the times. Spend time well. Treasure it. We all have time, talent and treasure. It is how you define it. No one else. Love life. Live it well. Make it a life well spent. Spend life well. The currency is always strong when passionately and poetically lived.

The Power of Love and Healing (Deep Work=Deep Breaths)

“One can only travel the long way into the heart of another: the slow work of finding common ground, the careful discernment of grounds of admiration, the disciplines of kindness, encouragement, silence, and restraint. It takes a deliberate choice, renewed regularly, to love every human being one encounters.” (Zena Hitz)

If it’s worth it, it will not be easy… something like that Bob Marley said. A monk was also quoted previously in response to this question:

“What’s the hardest part about being a monk?” He said, “Other monks”.

What’s the hardest part about life and love?

Other people.

Isn’t that funny? Other people. We do not have control. We have control only over oneself. Only of ourselves and how we respond or how we do not respond to others.

They say the highest form of flattery is gossip. If you find yourself trembling off the lips of another it’s truly none of your business. Monks do not talk much as it’s well known. There is a reason for that. Self-discipline and restraint. Choose not to judge and just respect the journey we are all walking.

Loving, guiding, whispering, petals of a flower as delicate as the work of our hands whether they are rough or smooth. Show your hands and it will show me your work.

Follow the palmar flexion creases on your hands. Your hands are your life’s and love’s work.

What you choose to do with your hands is your life’s work.

If you wreak havoc and chaos. If you choose to hit and harm, it is never, ever forgotten and permanently stored somehow, someway into the deep recesses of one’s mind. Memories are stored deep and remembered. Never forgotten. We all are patients of our own memories. Choose to love and be gentle even if someone sees it as a weakness. Because, in fact, it is strength. Gentleness is strength. If someone hurt you, you forgive them but move on. You do not have to forget. Lessons are in it. You learn what not to accept. You learn what not to do. You learn the lessons life dishes out and deals. You remember, forgive and you move on. Let it move you to dance. To sing. To read. To draw. To write. To paint. To act. To create. Scream love.

The [Heart, Mind, Brain and…] Body Keeps the Score always. A must read book is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D., found here: https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score

…remember while it’s a long way into someone else heart, it’s also a long way into your own heart. It is a deliberate choice to love yourself just the way you are.

Lean on Me…

Lean on me…

When you’re not strong.

There are so many songs that epitomize love, reliance and resilience. This one is one of my favorites.

We fall. We get back up sometimes on our own or with someone else’s help.

Then, the beautiful purpose of falling down is to help someone else up along the way.

What did you do for the month of February? And, most importantly, the months prior and leading up to this month and after it, what are you planning?

How do you show and share your love? How do you receive love?

What are your love languages? Quality time? Gift giving? Service to others? Affirmations? Physical touch? A little bit of all of them?

Love a little, a lot. Love a lot, a little.

26

In the words of someone I love. ” Love you to the end of the alphabet... [and beyond it] “. Here are the abcs filled with love, light and affirmations. Cheers to speaking life and love over each other and our children.

A for amazing and astounding.

B for brave, bold and beautiful.

C for courageous, considerate, compassionate and caring.

D for determined and dedicated.

E for evolving and energetic.

F for fabulous and fun!

G for giving and getting.

H for healing and health.

I for intelligent, inspiring and insightful.

J for joyful and jazzy.

K for knightly and kind.

L for loving and learning.

M for masterpiece and magnificent.

N for neat, nice, natural and neverending!

O for observant and ongoing.

P for precious, persevering and playful.

Q for quissential, quaint and quirky!

R for resilient, respectful and ready for life!

S for special and sweet.

T for talented, timeless, thoughtful, tactful and tenacious.

U for ubiquitous, unique, unconditional, unbeatable, ultimate and unabashed!

V for valorous, valuable, venerable, vast, versatile and valiant.

W for wise and wonderful.

X for xenial and xylographic.

Y for yogi, yielding, yaring and youthful.

Z for zingy, zestful, zany and zen.

Next time, sing with me!

Ps. Love you, all 26 letters!

Deck the Halls with Lots of Love and Play

Need ideas for the holiday season? When I am fresh out of ideas, I tend to start with the people and places we love. Whether near or far, inspiration can be found everywhere and lead to anywhere.  

We were counting all of the letters of the alphabet. I hear, “Mom, I love you, all the letters of the alphabet.”

Love is everywhere. In little moments and in the meaningful conversations whether we know in the moment they are meaningful or not. Even “small talk” could lead to “big talk”. In fact, it is all big in the grand scheme of this one precious and wild life.

The timeless adage still rings true. Don’t spend money. Spend time. Time with those you love. What is at the core of each and every single one of us is this: Time, Talent and Treasure.

Ask those you love what they would love to do with the time you all have? Dare yourself to be pulled into the moment.

They and it will all surprise you. When we ask…, we get at that heart of what the other person cares about.

Some ideas, actions and answers that sprang up and out of boredom and inspired by an ask of:

Q: “What do you want to do?”

A: “I want to go to the car wash!”

A: “Let’s count the stars.”

A: “Write a book.”

A: “Watch tv”

A: “Can we add soap to the trampoline and jump?! Soap party!”

A: “Make a cat house?!”

A: “Play a game” (ie board game or action packed game of tag!)

A: “Play chase us with the remote control cars!”

A: “Ride our go karts.”

A: “I want to make a fart fort!”

A: “I want a piggy back ride!”

A: “I want to fight!”

A: “I want to climb.”

A: “I want to roll!”

A: “I want to swing!”

A: “Knock, knock…(I want to laugh!)”

…the answers are endless. Let it be. Let them play. Let yourself play. Shhhh, listen, let them tell you. Open your eyes, let them show you. Open your arms. Hug it out. xoxoxo

Photo by Krivec Ales on Pexels.com