Life is a Gift

How beautiful it is to be alive? How to heal? To actually breathe fresh air left over from exploding stars and grandiose trees like Lolloby pines. While many chase titles and positions of power. Some are here getting the art of breathing, eating, walking and loving down. In the Way of the Peaceful Warrior, there is a part where Dan is eating so fast that he doesn’t realize it himself. Socrates points it out and, to Dan’s dismay and rhetoric, “What? I have a good diet and I exercise.” But, the real question is, “How are you eating? Slow down.”

This book is such a beautiful jolt in the face, heart, brain and body by life to slow down. Everything in nature grows and changes by taking its very own time. Nature does not rush or hurry things along. Yet, everything in time, is completed along the way. Endings are beginnings and beginnings are endings.

By the way, I learned about the Peaceful Warrior through the book titled by Virginia Roberts Giuffre, “Nobody’s Girl”. I have not read it yet and in some sort of way, I’m not ready to.

Often, I think of who, what, when, where, why and how questions while reading and while experiencing life. One that often pops up for me is: How does full healing happen? I’m on the journey to realize and experience the power of healing it seems.

Sometimes, like a supernova, we too, explode into bits of stardust-expanding never to be whole again but in some sort of light on the verge of healing, changing and radiantly glowing. Real life and beyond it. It’s a kind of healing that human hearts hum, humming along like a humming bird.

How to Love

Love covers all.

At some point in time, we were all children. Having and or teaching children reminds you of that fact. Sark wrote and tapped into how to really love a child and in turn teaches us how to love ourselves. All of us are miracles. Keeping the gleam and joy and most of all: LOVE.

How to really love anyone including the self comes down to being present not only the presents. One of my favorite books entitled: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman delves into how to love someone as it is so aptly titled the languages of love.

How do you show someone you love them? Find out their love language(s). Is it acts of service, quality time, physical touch, verbal affirmation and/or gift giving?

And, speak their love language with action and speak your own through action. Celebrate them. Celebrate you. Celebrate Earth. Walt Whitman: I celebrate myself, and sing myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45477/song-of-myself-1892-version

Spark Joy

Have you ever noticed how a child’s face will come alive when they are doing something they love and enjoy? Even grown ups will light up when they are doing something they love.

People who love what they do and love who they are don’t take vacations from it or from themselves. It lights a fire within sparking up a joy that cannot ever be contained. In life, humans light each other up along the way like lining up dominoes and with one gentle nudge, each domino knocks into the other crashing and cascading down. Or like Pringos, “Once you pop, you can’t stop!” LOL

No one can ever take that purpose away once ignited. It cannot be faked, copied, or even categoried <– made up word. Be you and pass on your light of being. The greatest gift is the gift of oneself. One’s own transformation and change.

Who are you? Who are you becoming?

What are you?

When were you? When are you?

Where were you and where are you?

Why are you?

How are you?

Be and become. The light. The love. The joy. The hiccups. haha

The Gaslight is On

While navigating life and growing: let’s be mindful and very cognizant of gaslighting phrases to recognize and heal from and through. Learn to recognize what and who is real. This is how we become. When you hear or have heard the following “gaslight” statements may it illuminate a “gaslight” and serve as a red flag to drive away, establish distance and fill your tank with what’s real. Here are those following “gaslights”.

That never happened. You remember that? I don’t remember that. That’s not how it happened. Then they spin it, flip it, manipulate it to fit themselves and it is truly incredulous. This makes you question your own very reality and memories. TRUST yourself. Your instincts and your memories. Denial and suppression could drive everyone mad. Don’t let it happen to you. Keep your voice even if it’s a whisper. For real! Truth always comes to light and when it does, trust the process and heal through the hurt.

You’re being too sensitive. Stop crying. Do you want me to give you something to cry for? When they dismiss your feelings or when you’re crying or even upset/mad, it’s a way to invalidate your emotions. Your feelings are are valid. Feel your feelings. Do not suppress. Remember that.

After all I’ve/we’ve done for you. This is such a classic and timeless guilt tripping tactic wrapped with a bow as gratitude and how you should feel so grateful. Remember this: You don’t owe anyone. Even further, you don’t owe them your life no matter what they’ve done. Keep your peace. Pay it forward.

No matter what, family comes first. **Only when family is healthy, responsible and mutually respectful. Otherwise, this is toxic and hard to swallow.

    Bonus: not a statement but noticing and learning the sound of silence and distinguish the sounds of footsteps and what they could mean for you, tone of voice / facial expressions and what may be in store for you.

    Lessons learned in the grand scheme of things that some people are broken and fragmented. But you don’t have to make excuses such as “that’s just the way they are”. And, look at you or who you are in a process of becoming, you learned (or are learning) not to make excuses for them or yourself.

    Resilient, thankful, nonetheless for the life lessons learned along the way. Like forgiveness and letting go. And, in distance well disguised as boundaries when noticing / recognizing when a “gaslight” comes on.

    All the lessons well learned. Heal. The only thing worth screaming is love, anyway. So love. Live. Peace. Light. Turn off the gas and turn the real light on. Light will always overpower darkness. Fill your bucket with truth and light, never emptying or giving away what’s real. What’s inside.

    Calling for a new Prescription: Playtime

    Children should at least get 3 hours a day outside to play not in front of screens or constantly listening to lectures. (Yes screens when used appropriately and lectures each have their own respective places). However, I (we) am/are calling for some tune ups in our public school schedules as well as curriculums. The amount of children in our society who lose focus, have increased behavioral problems, diagnoses for all of these “labels” is truly astronomical. Our school is a microcosm of what is happening nationally. Every year should not get more challenging for a school and its teachers / administrators / leadership. We need to rise to this challenge and return to basics. Do you remember playing as a child? At home and at the schoolyard? How much time did you have? How about the games you played in your childhood? Tag, freeze tag, races, hide and seek, Mr. wolf/fox, climbing trees, rolling all around, creative and sustained imaginative play … so much happens for children during this process of play. And, truthfully speaking, grown ups need a little folly in their lives, too as Erasmus well put it. Without it we are walking shells of a human. Children are showing us what they need. Some are loud about it and some are quiet about it. No one wants to sound, be or be remembered like the teacher (or parent) in Charlie Brown.

    We are society and can change it. We know and are aware as educators about true and real life child development. The stages we all learned about and went through ourselves as children: Sensorimotor, pre-operational, concrete and formal. We need more playtime not more screen time / not more memorization/rote learning not curriculum that is abstract and out of touch with real children and how they learn. When it comes to testing and what a child “knows” we need both objective and subjective. We are all human. We need brain breaks. “Coffee breaks” for grown ups and “Energy” breaks for children.

    We do not need more regulations or checklists…teachers, families and our schools are communities of “life-long”-curious-engaged learning. Should feel joy and fun coupled with respect, responsibility and a life-long readiness to learn and have curiosity. We all want what is best for our children / our future. Three hours of focusing on “school work” without a brain break knowing humans tend to lose focus most easily (in five minutes) especially when they are tired, stressed, experiencing distractions in their environment, performing repetitive tasks, or when dealing with complex information for extended periods of time. It is a lot we are requiring of our children. We have to be the change we wish to see in this world as Gandhi put it.

    There truly needs to be a tune up. As a community school we can be a model for what real life / engaged learning embodies, looks and feels like. Children (truly, all of us) learn by doing and being active, engaged participants not passive observers. Using what they learn to apply it in real life / challenges is the best gift that we can give and bestow upon our children/our future who we pass the mic too. Here are several articles that I hope inspire you.

    https://outwardbound.org/blog/how-much-outside-time-a-day-is-recommended-for-kids/


    https://hechingerreport.org/want-resilient-and-well-adjusted-kids-let-them-play/


    https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/power-of-play/Pages/the-power-of-play-how-fun-and-games-help-children-thrive.aspx

    Ps. Feel free to share this with your schools. Peace, love, joy, compassion and light. Your way, always.

    ‘Tis the Season and ‘Tis the Holidays (re-post)

    The most wonderful time of the year. But is it? I am feeling tension and unlike myself lately. I am missing loved ones who have passed. 105 people die every minute. Nearly 2 every second. Life is precious. So, so very precious.

    When it comes to my feelings, I chalked some of it up to the full moon and it’s power of making waves. In fact, there has been a cataclysm of events making waves. Globally, countries are struggling with leadership and death.

    Lately, I have been hanging on to hope and resiliency. I stare at a photo of 6 year old Ruby Bridges who endured and triumphed standing as a metaphor and reminder that “what doesn’t kill you does in fact make you stronger”.  At 6, Ruby Bridges showed a courage that resonates today. I had the opportunity of listening to Ruby Bridges speak in 2015 at the annual NAEYC conference. The kind of courage and poise she personifies and how it connects with us, children, families and educators.

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    Holidays are hard for many. For a lot of my own life, holidays were often off for me and awkward. There are empty chairs of those we miss and love. You feel the infinite loss and ache of missing loved ones. It is easier to send a gift and/or photo of smiling faces saying Happy Holidays. It is the thought that counts but what do we do for those who feel alone? How do we help others cope during grief or a sense of loss? What gifts can you give to the broken-hearted?

    Here are gifts to give:

    • Gift of Memory: Take a moment to remember and honor the memory of a loved one by a hug, card or phone call. Although there is an empty chair at the table fill it with memories and honor their memory.
    • Gift of hope: We experience both sadness and joy. It’s deeply triggered by the holidays. Show up and offer to help those you care about. From the daily routines to collaging and scrap booking memories.
    • Gift of Love: Be in the moment with those who are still living. Show them you love them. If you are the one feeling sad tell them it is hard but stay hopeful.
    • Gift of friendship: Invite and include those who feel sad even if they may cancel or decline from shopping to having dinner.
    • Gift of Surprise and Spontaneity: Encourage doing something unusual such as a road trip or a flight to visit loved ones still here. Follow through.
    • Give the gift of time: Its about time well spent with those you love so spend it wisely. Spend some time whether over coffee, a movie, a stop by visit or something special to do together
    • Give the gift of food for the soul whether baked goods or a home cooked meal to enjoy together
    • The gift of listening: remember, it’s not not knowing what to say but listening and being there.

    Looking for more gift ideas? Visit Sympathy Solutions at:

    http://www.sympathysolutions.com/current-newsletter/10-things-you-can-do-for-someone-lost-loved-lone.html

    Most of all, ensure to reach out, don’t expect someone who feels alone to reach out to you.

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    Falling and Jumping for Joy into Autumn

    Adios Summer. See you in a few seasons. Change is some kind of incredible for our souls. I’m noticing the leaves, the air, the fires and how nature in all of it, still cares. Our kids are noticing, too. Often I take notice how they gather, collect leaves and step through the crunchy brown ones. Hiking and walking while noticing nature all around is an art in itself.

    Here are some of our Bucket List ideas for Fall Fun Things to do 🙂

    1. Get lost in a corn maze
    2. Use a compass / map to hike in and on the forest trails
    3. Pick some apples
    4. Leaf piles and JUMP in!
    5. Leaf peeping
    6. Pumpkins and Gourds
    7. Draw and observe what you notice
    8. Make natural “decorations” out of nature finds
    9. Hot cocoa 🙂
    10. Make hiking staffs
    11. Make a fire and tell stories
    12. Camp out on the trampoline
    13. Fall movie night outside
    14. Read and reread / retell stories about Fall or just because you like them stories
    15. Chop up wood
    16. Visit the Gnomes and Fairy gardens / Feeling inspired? Make one in your yard 🙂
    17. Make a list of what you’re thankful for (maybe on those beautiful fall leaves 🙂 and put it in a time capsule. Bury it somewhere and send gratitude into the universe and beyond!
    18. Take a road trip or walk to see the changes

    Need more inspiration? Here’s a marsh mellow toast to another blog who offers some Fall Fun Things to do https://www.nickandalicia.com/2019/09/10-activities-to-do-this-autumn-fall-bucket-list-printable.html/

    Happy Falling into Fall! Marsh mellow toasts to all of you. Enjoy the season, on purpose!

    No Such thing as a Bad Kid…Remember that!

    Instead of asking: “What’s wrong with him or her?” Ask, “What happened to him or her?” This will help you guide and have a better relationship with the children and grown ups in your life.

    In a society that is in a rush to label, diagnose fix and break, be the exact opposite, be the one who slows down to notice, show compassion and listen. Just be there through the tears, through the ups and the downs. Notice and be present. Love.

    We are society and we can in fact, choose love, consistency and conversations where we listen more and talk less. Slow down, listen to what children are showing and sharing. You will find out exactly what they need, don’t need and in return what you need and what you don’t need.

    Slow down. Turtles have a lot to teach us in this way. Not the ninja turtles but the ones who hold up traffic as they cross the street. Taking their time. One turtle paw at a time. One paw in front of the other. There are times to be a cheetah and there are times to be a turtle. Choose wisely.

    Is my Jacket Expensive?

    Let’s talk. Wealth. Rich and Poor. While we teach our children to value what is inside of themselves: the who of what they are. Their being. Their essence. Others from outside will influence them or try to belittle them or what they care about at times, without even knowing it themselves. It tugs at their heart and their soul. Ours, too, just a little bit until we get the jolt back into what matters most. People. Relationships. Experiences. Memories. Time. Talent. Treasure.

    Our son asked, “Hey mom, is my jacket expensive?” Quite frankly, it doesn’t even matter. These things, no matter the cost won’t matter in the next five minutes or even in the next five years. If it won’t matter in the next minutes, months or even years: who cares. It’s not the jacket but the memories we make in it that truly matter. While most of society will try to convince you that your worth is determined by what you have on, in real real reality, it doesn’t. What your life depends on is who you are, who you surround yourself with and what you care about. So, take care of yourself, others and your surroundings/your space then it ripples outward and onward changing lives for the better.

    So, how much does your life cost? How much value and worth? Are you living poor in mindset? Have the courage to change it before it’s far too late. Don’t live for a too die for house. Don’t live for a too die for car.

    Live for a too die for life.

    Collect memories. Not things. Collect the times. Spend time well. Treasure it. We all have time, talent and treasure. It is how you define it. No one else. Love life. Live it well. Make it a life well spent. Spend life well. The currency is always strong when passionately and poetically lived.

    The Power of Love and Healing (Deep Work=Deep Breaths)

    “One can only travel the long way into the heart of another: the slow work of finding common ground, the careful discernment of grounds of admiration, the disciplines of kindness, encouragement, silence, and restraint. It takes a deliberate choice, renewed regularly, to love every human being one encounters.” (Zena Hitz)

    If it’s worth it, it will not be easy… something like that Bob Marley said. A monk was also quoted previously in response to this question:

    “What’s the hardest part about being a monk?” He said, “Other monks”.

    What’s the hardest part about life and love?

    Other people.

    Isn’t that funny? Other people. We do not have control. We have control only over oneself. Only of ourselves and how we respond or how we do not respond to others.

    They say the highest form of flattery is gossip. If you find yourself trembling off the lips of another it’s truly none of your business. Monks do not talk much as it’s well known. There is a reason for that. Self-discipline and restraint. Choose not to judge and just respect the journey we are all walking.

    Loving, guiding, whispering, petals of a flower as delicate as the work of our hands whether they are rough or smooth. Show your hands and it will show me your work.

    Follow the palmar flexion creases on your hands. Your hands are your life’s and love’s work.

    What you choose to do with your hands is your life’s work.

    If you wreak havoc and chaos. If you choose to hit and harm, it is never, ever forgotten and permanently stored somehow, someway into the deep recesses of one’s mind. Memories are stored deep and remembered. Never forgotten. We all are patients of our own memories. Choose to love and be gentle even if someone sees it as a weakness. Because, in fact, it is strength. Gentleness is strength. If someone hurt you, you forgive them but move on. You do not have to forget. Lessons are in it. You learn what not to accept. You learn what not to do. You learn the lessons life dishes out and deals. You remember, forgive and you move on. Let it move you to dance. To sing. To read. To draw. To write. To paint. To act. To create. Scream love.

    The [Heart, Mind, Brain and…] Body Keeps the Score always. A must read book is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D., found here: https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score

    …remember while it’s a long way into someone else heart, it’s also a long way into your own heart. It is a deliberate choice to love yourself just the way you are.