Remember playing when you thought no one was looking? How did you feel? The freedom? The boredom? Making up unique games. The risk-taking. Facing challenges. Realizing that chanting “I think I can” works and just when you thought you couldn’t, you did it!
That’s what happens when we get out of the way of our children. In fact, we get out of the way of our own selves, too. Let them live and enjoy childhood. Let us enjoy, too! Life. Life is for living not dying. Living the adventures of it all and perhaps, that will carry us all forward into their grown up years and our grown up years continued.
“I know what I want to do, and it makes sense to get going”. — Warren Buffet
Children know who they are and what they love to do from an early age. Families, educators and the community also discover what children are passionate about especially by paying close attention while being astute observers. When children arrive at school they get going in on the things they care about all while living out the mantra: being in the present moment. Something most of us could learn a lot from. While being in the present an idea enters the brain also know as a spark of joy that sends signals as what we’re supposed to be doing. An idea.
I had a student who had an idea. He started building a truck. More specifically, a cement mixer. In fact, he loved trucks. All kinds of trucks. His family was worried as he seemed obsessed with trucks and he didn’t like books so much. I mentioned that they just may have a builder on their hands. He gets distracted by what he cares about most because when there was a book about trucks he would study it research like and consumed by it ranging from non-fiction to Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site. When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said a garbage truck so he could keep Earth clean. When we went to the library on Wednesdays for story time, instead of listening to the story he would instead gravitate towards the window to watch the construction workers work. He would be engrossed by the construction site across the street and name every single truck as well as what they were doing. I mentioned it to the storyteller and she prepared stories the following week in honor of my student and the site across the street. We also met the team who were building. My student’s eyes lit up and stood in awe as the team described what they were working on. He asked the most questions and even got to sit in the cement mixer he saw each Wednesday, the exact truck he was building. This came full circle and his family beams with pride as their son is an expert in building and mechanics. He drew and from what I see online still draws blueprints, creates and builds.
Our ideas are unique to only us. No one else dreams the dreams we dream. It is vital to fulfill our mission. When a child is doing something they love they don’t have to be told or rewarded to do it. Even when they grow up it is the same as they do something they love. They do it because they want to be there. They do what they love and care about. That is the greatest gift. Are you honoring your child and your own inner child?
This is where intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation comes in.
Children are intrinsically motivated to do the things they love to do. They don’t need awards or even praise. They just do. They get going.
So what is it that your child wants to get going on? How about you? Just do it.
What were the little things you carried in your pockets before the world made you empty them? Mine literally were rocks and dandelions. I would marvel at a rock as I found it fascinating. I loved and still enjoy collecting rocks. Ultimately, it’s not about the things you buy, it’s about the experiences you have. The moments made into memories. It’s about the little things you care about. Perhaps it keeps you up at night or wakes you up really early in the morning. Perhaps it sits with you for awhile mid-afternoon while you have your tea. It calls out to you. It knows your name without ever having to say it.
When is the last time you noticed or discovered that little thing you care about? When you saw or realized it did you marvel and sit with it for awhile? Were you present in the moment with it? When is the last time you did something about it? No expectations. Not because you have to but because you want to. Not following steps walking into “adulthood” but into “yourself hood” When will you follow your calling? Your own footsteps, left foot, right foot one in front of the other? Not for money but for your soul. Those are the kinds of things that are worth carrying in your pocket. Noticing and fulfilling the little things that you care about are victories.
I remember a little thing. A student of mine wanted to take a worm back to the classroom. So, he put some dirt in his pocket. Then he put the earthworm in his pocket. He carefully sprinkled a bit more dirt on top of the worm in his pocket as well so the worm in his own words would have a home. Think of the care and careful consideration he took to look out for the worm as he fulfilled his mission of bringing it back into our classroom.
If I had interrupted this play and told him to empty his pockets and that a pocket is no place for an earthworm even to transport it then we would have missed out on all of the learning with earthworms, anatomy and how to care for them and how they care for our Earth creating nutrients for plants and other organisms. It started with one worm and turned into so much more.
A worm. A single worm created a moment which created a memory and is in the process of possibly creating an entomologist. We all have an inner child, an inner soul. Nurture it. Nurture the little thing you love and yearn for whether it’s an ant or the sky. You are drawn to it for a reason. When someone asks you why are you “fixated” or “stuck” on something. Ask them, why not? Keep your wonder and your fascination especially in a world that is “stuck” and “fixated” on being busy and moving onto something else before really getting to know and work with what it started with to begin with. Studying and observing earthworms doesn’t take a week or month. For example, Darwin studied earthworms for forty years.
What were the little things you carried in your pockets before the world made you empty them?
Four decades Darwin hung out and observed the worms. So take your time with your passion and purpose, on purpose. The little thing you care about. The little thing that keeps knocking on your brain and on your heart: your soul. It’s worth it. Nurture it, care for it and be there with it for awhile. Sit with it. Walk with it. Crawl with it. Do whatever it is you have to do to be with it for awhile. Keep it safe, give it a home. Put it in your pocket. Take a decade or two or three or four or even more with it. Slow down and move with it in a world that wants to move onto the next thing. It warms. It cools. It warms. It cools. Stay with it for awhile. Savor it like the last bite. In fact, save the best bite for last.
So what is it and what will you do with it?
Ps. Here is a book entitled Finding Me by Viola Davis that may encourage you to dig a little deeper than the earthworms.
Who is magic? What is magic? When is magic? Where is magic? Why is there magic? How is there magic?
My first memory of magic was stepping on a magic rainbow puddle aka oil slick and the rainbow disappearing and spreading outward. My mom whispered, “Make a wish.”
I did. And, it came true.
I thought inside, “Wow”. Not only was the oil slick magical but my wish coming true held magic in it too.
My mom was and is magic. Real life. Today is her birthday. The numeral 26 holds such significance as well as the numeral 8. This is why this blog is published each and every month on the 26th at 8:26am in honor of my mother’s memory and legacy.
Today I stepped on an oil slick aka a magic rainbow and I made a wish and thought of my Mom.
I smile and still see where the magic is. It’s found in a rainbow puddle. It spreads outwards. It’s in me.
So there was this little girl and she found a rock.
She held it in her hands like in a clasped hug. She loved this rock. She thought she found Gold and in a way she did. Well, she goes to her dad and said look you won’t believe what I found. She opened her hand and her dad was like oh you found a stone. That’s cool. Listen love, see how much you can get for it.
She said, DAD but it’s just a rock. No one WILL BUY a rock. Her Dad said just promise me you’ll try and when someone makes you an offer tell me. She looked back and said ok. She walked out of the house and into the street.
The first person she saw she showed them this rock and said, hey excuse me sir I got this rock and uh are you interested in purchasing it? The man looked at her and peeked in at the rock, shrugged his shoulders and said, I’ll give you $5.00. Her eyes went wide and said really? You’ll pay me for this rock. He said yea. She said ok hold on let me tell my dad.
She runs back to her dad. Tells him and he responds oh, ok keep walking and ask someone else. She said, BUT DAD he’s giving me 5.00 for a rock!!!
He said walk on. Get another offer.
So she did and the next person was inside of a pawn shop. She walked right in there and was like excuse me Ma’m I got this rock and I want to see how much it’s worth? The women peered over the counter took the rock out of the little girl’s hand. Looked at it and weighed it. She said I’ll give you 50.00 for it. The little girl was shocked!
She ran out the store told her dad and he said walk on.
The little girl said BUT DAD this lady’s giving me 50.00!! Her Dad said walk on and ask someone else. So she did. She walked into a museum right, a Stone Museum. This special stone place filled with rocks! She walked right in there, head held all high and said hey excuse me everyone, I have a “stone” and I want to see how much it’s worth. Well, the museum people carefully looked at this little girl, took the stone out of the little girls hands with gloves inspected it carefully, like real carefully. A gentlemen came over, and put even put on these special glasses and carefully chiseled a bit away on this rock/stone. You could tell these guys we serious about some stones. They were stone collectors and they genuinely loved rocks and all that. So, they started asking her a lot of questions of where she found it, how she cared for it, what it’s name was, who it belongs to, when she found it, why it was special to her. She thought about the last question a lot. She thought about how she felt when she first found it before telling her dad and before him asking her to get money for it. And she said well when I first saw it—it was the most different, the most original stone I ever found, that I ever saw before. I never seen a stone like it in my life. And, well, I held it like I’d never find another one like it. I cleaned it — I carried it and protected it.
They started asking her more questions about her stone.
The whole time they wrote down everything. After their conversation they placed this stone next to another stone in a special case. They walked around and admired it. They said look how it stands out in this case! They looked at the little girl and said give us a few moments we need to deliberate on this. We are speechless. After several HOURS — the stone collectors returned and asked how much do YOU want for it? What will be your highest and lowest that you’d take for it? The little girl again was in shock. She said hold on. She said can I have my stone back? I need to go talk to my Dad about this! They said okay.
They wrapped the stone in special silk and handed it to the little girl. The little girl held it. Clasped it. She ran to her Dad.
She said DAD the museum people — the stone collectors—you won’t believe this! — they asked ME how much it’s worth?!!
Her Dad smiled. He asked her, well how much? Cause that’s what matters most.
— What matters most is how much you think it’s worth before you even showed me it. Nobody else. Never settle. ((You know how much she got for that stone? Mannnn, amazing!))
From the Playground 