parenting

Calling for a new Prescription: Playtime

Posted on by Jill Telford

Children should at least get 3 hours a day outside to play not in front of screens or constantly listening to lectures. (Yes screens when used appropriately and lectures each have their own respective places). However, I (we) am/are calling for some tune ups in our public school schedules as well as curriculums. The amount of children in our society who lose focus, have increased behavioral problems, diagnoses for all of these “labels” is truly astronomical. Our school is a microcosm of what is happening nationally. Every year should not get more challenging for a school and its teachers / administrators / leadership. We need to rise to this challenge and return to basics. Do you remember playing as a child? At home and at the schoolyard? How much time did you have? How about the games you played in your childhood? Tag, freeze tag, races, hide and seek, Mr. wolf/fox, climbing trees, rolling all around, creative and sustained imaginative play … so much happens for children during this process of play. And, truthfully speaking, grown ups need a little folly in their lives, too as Erasmus well put it. Without it we are walking shells of a human. Children are showing us what they need. Some are loud about it and some are quiet about it. No one wants to sound, be or be remembered like the teacher (or parent) in Charlie Brown.

We are society and can change it. We know and are aware as educators about true and real life child development. The stages we all learned about and went through ourselves as children: Sensorimotor, pre-operational, concrete and formal. We need more playtime not more screen time / not more memorization/rote learning not curriculum that is abstract and out of touch with real children and how they learn. When it comes to testing and what a child “knows” we need both objective and subjective. We are all human. We need brain breaks. “Coffee breaks” for grown ups and “Energy” breaks for children.

We do not need more regulations or checklists…teachers, families and our schools are communities of “life-long”-curious-engaged learning. Should feel joy and fun coupled with respect, responsibility and a life-long readiness to learn and have curiosity. We all want what is best for our children / our future. Three hours of focusing on “school work” without a brain break knowing humans tend to lose focus most easily (in five minutes) especially when they are tired, stressed, experiencing distractions in their environment, performing repetitive tasks, or when dealing with complex information for extended periods of time. It is a lot we are requiring of our children. We have to be the change we wish to see in this world as Gandhi put it.

There truly needs to be a tune up. As a community school we can be a model for what real life / engaged learning embodies, looks and feels like. Children (truly, all of us) learn by doing and being active, engaged participants not passive observers. Using what they learn to apply it in real life / challenges is the best gift that we can give and bestow upon our children/our future who we pass the mic too. Here are several articles that I hope inspire you.

https://outwardbound.org/blog/how-much-outside-time-a-day-is-recommended-for-kids/


https://hechingerreport.org/want-resilient-and-well-adjusted-kids-let-them-play/


https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/power-of-play/Pages/the-power-of-play-how-fun-and-games-help-children-thrive.aspx

Ps. Feel free to share this with your schools. Peace, love, joy, compassion and light. Your way, always.
childhood, children, culture, daycare, Ece, education, earlyed, behavior, development, children, family, help, family, neuroscience, parenting, parenting, relationships, self-help, teaching

The Only Thing We Should Scream is Love: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child is Losing It

Gallery | Posted on by Jill Telford

“The only thing we should scream into the world is love” — Jill Telford 

Photo by Phil Nguyen on Pexels.com

Imagine you and your family are out at a pool. Your child is having a blast to the point his fingers are wrinkled from the water. The sun is shining and sunscreen was a cinch to apply because the spray kind was created. You’ve all been out in the sun for about two hours. You make the call to head home. Your child says, “Five more minutes, pleeeeease”. You say, “Ok”.  Five minutes pass and you say alright let’s go but he wants to negotiate another five. You say no it’s time to go. You see water on his face that is not from the pool but his tears. He starts crying that he wants to stay. He runs away, yelling he doesn’t want to leave and throws himself on the grass. You carry him to the car feeling defeated and deflated.

Everything pretty much a toddler and preschooler does is developmentally appropriate including many of the following challenging behaviors:

  • Ignoring you
  • Yelling
  • Throwing food, etc.
  • Spitting
  • Not Sharing
  • Tantruming
  • Not “sitting still”
  • Not “listening”
  • Hitting
  • Biting

This happens as children grow and learn about this brand new world. While we’ve been here for decades, they have been here for a few years. They don’t have the plethora of experiences that we have. Think about that. Our brain is fully developed while their brain is still growing. What they do and how they act during this time is not a reflection of who you are as a parent. They are not “bad”.  Neither are you as a parent “bad” at parenting. 

In those moments, they need you more than ever to be still with them. Give yourself and your child space as they navigate big feelings. It’s hard to label how upset they are that they have to leave. When it gets calm be present with them and re-enact the scenario and what would be done differently next time. Label what you saw and validate feelings including your own. Give reasons why. Keep it simple, direct and clear. Keep calm and carry on.

Next time you find yourself in the middle of a meltdown or tantrum with your children: give space, follow through on what you said, be there when they are ready to talk, label what you saw and use it as a teachable moment for what to do differently next time. Hug them, tell them you love them but not the behavior. Give yourself grace as their parent. You got this.  

Ps. Need more tips: here is a helpful article featured on Understood

https://www.understood.org/en/articles/taming-tantrums-vs-managing-meltdowns

childhood, children, culture, DAP, daycare, earlyed, Ece, education, education, earlyed, behavior, development, children, family, help, family, life, lifepurpose, neuroscience, play, preschool, publishing, relationships, school, self-help

An Act of Care: How Grown Ups Support Developmental Trajectories of Children

Gallery | Posted on by Jill Telford

“If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, crawl.” — MLK

If you can’t crawl, roll. If you can’t roll then get that tummy time in.  This is the story of the stages of development and how children need caring grown ups to nurture our babies so they grow into their fullest potential. This is what to expect when you’re expecting. This is how we care for and nurture children after their basic needs of nutrition, toileting and shelter have been met. Early childhood development is impacted heavily by the mental health of the people who care for them even while they are in the womb. Care is solely based on three actions caring grown ups give: love, safety and consistency. During the early years of life, the brain is constantly and consistently growing and care should coincide with that growth. Grown ups have a mission to foster security, love and safety starting at birth which leads to toddlers establishing a strong sense of self and self-worth. Children not only want safety, love and consistency but they also need it.

Being able to build and sustain healthy relationships to consistently meet children where they are in order to secure a healthy attachment depends on the wholeness of the grown up who is caring for children.  Are those who are caring for children well and healthy? A great question for grown ups to ask themselves is: “How am I feeling?” “What can I do about?”

In reality, a “healthy head start” is not always an option for babies. This is where early intervention comes in as a plan b if the family unit is broken. Early intervention such as head start, home cares and preschool improves the outlook and success of children growing into healthy and thriving adults. Caring grown ups help build a strong foundation also known as the brain. It also aids in breaking a family generational cycle of poverty. Need support?

Here are some resources and ways to support infants and toddlers in the first three years of life: 

CDC’s Developmental Milestones:

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/index.html

Activities for bonding and learning from birth through 12 months:

Activities for Bonding and Learning from Birth to 12 Months

CDC’s Positive Parenting Tips from Birth through Teenager Years *Bonus with activities*

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/index.html